we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
