I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Shame - the story of my life.
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