haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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