There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
