They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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