Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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