I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
