Porn is love you can see.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
