I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
