Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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