dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
