I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
