Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
