Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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