if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
