I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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