i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
