He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
