why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
