Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
