No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
