Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
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I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
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Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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