THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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