guys are not supposed to queef...right?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
