wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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