I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
