come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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