I heard we made out
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he thought i was a dude.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
