foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
