I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
