Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
