Betty ford says i'm here all night
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I need to calm my uterus...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
