I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
