It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She's just so happy...and so naked.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
