Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
