so explain again why im purple
no
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
