who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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