too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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