ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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