3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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