I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
do herpes really smell.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize