Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
