I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
