And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize