Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
