I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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