if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
