I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
