Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
