Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
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our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
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I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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