I just saw a hot homeless man
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
