Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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