I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
