I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
