so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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