well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
