She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
