Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
