I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
