I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
