I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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