in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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