i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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