you have to choose: penises or morals?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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