he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
